Beating Yourself
I am very good at beating myself up for the slightest wrongdoing. It is mostly subconscious, which is dangerous since even though it directly affects my self image it goes under the radar. This is something I am currently working on, since the habit of self criticism seems to be engrained in my routines.
The easiest example is from volleyball. During a game, once I miss a serve, I can easily get into a vicious loop of missing a second and a third. This implies three lost points due to direct mistakes. It has a direct impact on the team which creates even more pressure to get out of the cycle.
Since I took up volleyball again my algorithms have taken notice and have started to feed me volleyball and sports advice. Some of it is very welcome, one in specific was about my exact scenario, from a sports coach. How to speak to yourself after making a bad play.
In this case, here’s what to say to oneself, in order:
- That’s done
- You’re good, we’ve been here
- Next play
- Watch this
The explanation of each sentence is as important. I will paraphrase the video (here’s the video itself).
First you admit that this did happen without attaching any negativity to it, just acknowledging that it happened. Next you tell yourself that this does not define your game, it has happened before, and will happen again. Perfection does not exist. Notice the use of “You” instead of “I”.
Next play. You acknowledged what happened, but now you move on. Lastly, watch this. The final sentence helps to get out of the victim mentality, from recovering from the mistake, to hunting the next play.
I see a lot of potential in this method, and not only in sports. It might need to be adapted since sports are a lot more structured than other areas of life, but it is a powerful tool to coming closer to taming your subconscious.
This Week’s Suggestions:
🎶 “Justify” by Shapes and Lens:
This song came out recently. It is something Lens has been using to close her sets. It has a heavy bass going and is rather mellow while keeping the energy. It is something comparable to “Glue” by Bicep on its vibe for me.
A lovely November morning to you!
