Misconduct of a Mortal

“Mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future.” Oliver Burkeman

The first week of holidays was a time of almost complete rest. I only worked a little on Physics and Maths. This second week I took things a bit more seriously, putting in a solid 12 hours of work over the week into both Maths and Physics. I must say, without the stress of deadlines it was almost fun to do the work. I could savour it, take my time to understand every little aspect of it. It is not that I would lack the time for it during school-periods – it is more that I could not possibly do more than that one thing. I would have to sacrifice one subject for another.

On Wednesday I went to the theater for the first time in a while. I went to see “Buratiino”, which is basically Tolstoy’s version of Pinocchio. I was there to accompany my oldest niece who is 7. To my surprise an acquaintance of mine was playing the lead of the musical. The crowd was full of first and second graders from all over Tallinn. I felt slightly out of place. I enjoyed the musical though, it left some space for the public, as in every single action was not explained to its very core like some child plays do it. I have to say that I did struggle at some points understanding exactly what was said because some of the phrasing seemed archaic.

Also quite early on this week I noticed that I have certain patterns of consumption of media. Completely out of the blue I know! A human being having behavioural patterns? Anyway the thing I noticed is about the languages of the content consumed. I have a high tendency to use the internet in English, I rarely watch a video or read an article in French or Estonian. For my studies I am in France, this means that I study everything in French. All my scientific problems are to be solved with my understanding of the French language. When I read books (physical reading) it is mainly in Estonian. It is not that I am not capable of doing it in other languages but it is just a habit of mine. The way I am most comfortable with things. For now this does not disturb me but on the offhand that it might at some point in the future, it is good that I brought some awareness to it.

In Estonia I got to spend a lot of time with my family. It is somewhat intense because I want to spend time with as many people as possible, nevertheless it is very rewarding. Almost every holiday in Estonia I play a game of volleyball and a game of ping pong with my brother. These two are of course followed by a sauna session. I need to once again stress the importance of saunas. It is one of the things missing in my life here in Western Europe. Also at my brother's I got to meet my most recent nephew who only just joined us in this game of life.

On Friday I arrived back in Lille. The weather was great and I was ready to attack the day even with 5 hours of sleep (our plane took off at 5:30). I decided to go on a bike ride. I started by going North. Every time I go for rides I try to take new paths to discover my surroundings. I find this to be a great practise but simultaneously if my phone dies I am very easily lost. I guess there is a certain aspect of fun in that as well. Anyway, this time I was mostly moving in city streets. After a little while I started moving back towards Lille. I saw a very nice looking church from afar and decided to stop there for a bit.

After a little break I decided to start moving again. Once I got on my bike I noticed that I had a slight difficulty moving. I got to a red light and then noticed that my back wheel had popped. I do not know how long I genuinely did ride with a broken tire but the wheel was not deformed so I can only believe that it was not for too long. Fortunately I was 5 kilometres from my apartment so I only had an hour-long walk. During those total 2 and a half hours I listened to Oliver Burkeman's “Four Thousand Weeks”.

This week's suggestions:

📕 Oliver Burkeman “Four Thousand Weeks”

This book gained my attention because it refutes my lifestyle. I am somewhat of a control freak and I am somewhat convinced that it is possible to control every aspect of my life if I just try. Oliver Burkeman himself fell prey to the same type of toxic productivity, in his work he highlights how we all have (approximately) 4000 weeks in one life time and how this amount is just way too short to achieve everything. This could be taken as a shock, but for me it was sort of an epiphany that indeed this is the case thus there are choices to be made. Every decision has its weight. Going through one door means deciding against multiple others. As it was a personal epiphany-provoking read, I highly recommend it.

📖 E.H. Remarque

I started reading “Heaven Has No Favorites” By Erich Maria Remarque this Friday. I have already in the past complimented Remarque's style but I have to mention it again. Within the first seven pages I caught myself smirking at the way some things were phrased. So subtle, easy and just clean. My experience with his work may be limited but so far it has been a ten out of ten experience.

Have a wonderful rest of the week!