An Evolution

In high school, I was heading down a darker path. I was invested in my schoolwork but I had found alcohol and nicotine at an early age. Arguably it is a normal phenomenon in Eastern Europe, but I had the contrast of hanging out with Western Europeans in Brussels. Westerners did not drink alcohol before the legal age whilst Easterners already knew what a blackout was by the time they turned 15.

In my last year of high school, some things woke me up. I had a break-up. I realised that some things do not interest me anymore. I realised that I needed to focus on other things. I struggled to create a new identity from zero in Brussels, where I had spent the past 10 years. It is one of the reasons why I decided to move to France in the first place. I wanted a place to recreate myself from scratch. That is precisely what I did.

I quit nicotine cold turkey on the 14th of August 2021 right before starting my higher education. I have not touched it since. The only reason I believe I was able to pull it off was indeed my moving to Lille. It gave me the opportunity to redirect myself on a path of my choosing.

When I spoke to my friends in Lille about my past they were shocked about it. They had only seen me as a relatively studious and serious person. I think one of my favourite moments was when I united my friends from high school with my friends from university.

So after those two years of university I set myself solid standards. After which I decided to complete my military service. During my time in France I had already disciplined myself to a certain level of which I was proud of. In contrast the army gives you discipline, but it is not self-discipline. It tends to be the extrinsic kind, you are disciplined out of fear of the consequences.

The army, for me at least, is a showcase of my physical and mental capabilities in difficult scenarios – lack of sleep, food or water. It's about being disciplined in scenarios where one's basic needs are not met.

It might sound heavy, yet one thing our instructors always have up their sleeve is the phrase – "you're dead". It's as easy as that. Survival is not granted if you are unable to do what you have to. It sounds rough in the civil world, but in the military world, the law of the jungle applies. It's eat or be eaten.

The three phases described were:

1. Realisation
2. Change
3. Going Beyond

Putting it like that it almost sounds like I have my life together. Dear reader, that is far from the truth. I am still unaware what the hell I am doing on this planet. That being said, things are somewhat clearing up on the horizon (sometimes).

This Week's Suggestions:

🎶 Sammy Virji's set for DJ Mag:

I had seen clips from this set all around social media and I finally decided to give it a spin even though I was not the biggest fan of Sammy Virji's music. I was very positively surprised. It is a happy house set with a few baseline bangers in it to keep the flow unpredictable. Most of all, the energy on the dancefloor is contagious. Do give it a go yourself!

Till next Monday!